1.
Do boys have a harder time talking about abuse then girls do?
2.
Are there statistics that show that talking things out increases the chance of recovery?
3.
Sharing your experience
Do boys have a harder time talking about abuse then girls do?
I think they probably do since most boys are raised to be tough and many keep their feelings to their selves.
Are there statistics that show that talking things out increases the chance of recovery?
I think talking about feelings help for us to recover and see that it is not our fault that the abuse happened. It is the adults' fault. The adults who did it and who let it happen to the children. It never is the child's fault.
Sharing from my experience
I blamed myself for it happening I used to hurt myself for years
I slit my wrists and banged my head on the wall for years from childhood to adult hood, and I drank for years to run from the pain that was inside of me. The pain inside was worse then any pain I had on the outside so hurting myself felt better then the pain that was inside of me. Sound sick but that is how I felt before I got into recovery from being abused.
I was living in a living hell. As I got older I had memories and I stuffed them with alcohol and drugs. I also got into abusive relationships. I hated myself and did not want to be me.
I was adopted and the lady who adopted me was the person who let me get sexually abused from a friend of hers. It was sick. She knowingly let it happen. I never was able to talk about it until I was 30 years old when I stopped drinking and got help with the recovery of alcoholism and I got help with recovery from the abuse. That was when I was able to share about how I felt and got help.
I have written my story in book form it is online if you would like to read more about how I dealt and lived through a hell on earth and how I got help and made a good life for myself you can click on this link. It will take you to the chapters 21 chapters.
I am in the process of getting it on audio.
1.
Do boys have a harder time talking about abuse then girls do?
Both boys and girls, have a hard time in talking about sex abuse,
as we all have different personalties, our pain and feelings
are so different. In both boys and girls though, we all feel the pain
we go through, some can talk about the sex abuse with no trouble at all
and it does not mean that they feel any less pain. It is that they want
to get it off their minds while others can not talk about it and mostly
it is because we will not be believed.
2.
Are there statistics that show that talking things out increases the chance of recovery?
No it did not help me in talking about it because it made me feel worse about myself
3.
Sharing your experience
To me I have talked about the 15 or so years of sexual abuse to me in two Catholic Church
orphanages and it took me over 50years to tell some one what really happened to me.
You see I would tell, that I was sexaul abused but not tell how. I could not. It was far too
painful for me to even say the words. I now have told how it happened and for me
it was writting my story down which helped me more that any thing.
Now my story will be told to the world as a book and it will be called SAY SORRY
My editior is Fiona and we have become good friends and I can now tell her any thing
I can now talk about it, but I still get very upset and the abuse which happened to me for
25years at the same time, is just as bad to me, as the sexual abuse, because it was in the
form of sexual abuse in the way, I was stripped of all of my clothes at night time and the
way I was thrashed.
My website is called The Awakening
1.
Do boys have a harder time talking about abuse then girls do?
I don't have any statistics on this, but from what I have read, when the abuse is sexual, boys may have a harder time telling out of shame and fear of being labeled homosexual if their perpetrator was male.
2.
Are there statistics that show that talking things out increases the chance of recovery?
If there is, I haven't seen them. However, from my experiences talking with hundreds of survivors, it seems that when victims talk to others about their experiences, and discover that others have been through the same things, it seems to give them the courage to talk more and thus, begin their healing. Then again, there are those that no matter how much they talk, they can not seem to find a ray of hope of ever healing. Recovery is unique for each individual. What works for one, may not work for others. I do believe though, that talking or writing about what happened, can be the best thing to do to begin healing.
3.
Sharing your experience
Incest -Once Taboo-Now A Reality For So Many
Incest, to me----is a dirty word! I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused for over ten years by a family member I trusted and loved. I will not go into details of the abuse itself, but I will tell you the after effects and what it took for me to heal.
After my abuse, I spent years going from one abusive relationship to another. After three divorces, and two suicide attempts, I can finally say that I am a survivor. It took years of therapy with support from friends and family before I began to heal, but I believe the biggest step towards that healing came when I realized that I needed to confront the perpetrator and even forgive that person before I could go on with my life. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! I did not just confront the perpetrator one day and all was forgiven. It took several years of writing about my abuse and many nights without sleep before I could forgive the person. Forgiving does not mean that you then have to accept that person into your life again. Forgiving is never easy and some victims may never be able to take that step. That is quite understandable. Forgiving yourself for doing what you had to do then, and now, to survive, is even more important.
Forgiving does not mean the end of your suffering, only the beginning of your healing. I believe that forgiveness enables you to control your future by reclaiming that power from your perpetrator. Forgiveness is freeing one's spirit from the venom of hatred and anger, allowing yourself to evolve into the person you were truly meant to be.
Child abuse leaves scars that may never completely heal, but there is hope and there is help. Today, there are many organizations and places to go for victims and survivors of child abuse. Mental health organizations and Health & Human Services offer group therapy and support. There are on-line support groups, chat rooms and places to post your thoughts, writings or healing poetry. I write poetry about child abuse, and believe that it can be a therapeutic tool for victims and survivors.
As survivors, we are all in the process of transformation. We continuously learn new ways to cope with daily stress and deal with issues of past abuse. When we finally arrive at the point of liberation, the past no longer has any hold on us. We become whole again, with a sense of renewal. We realize that life is worth living and that we don’t have to let the past be a blueprint for self-destruction. We can make a new map, one of hope and fortitude. We can take our destiny into our own hands and change our lives for the better.
To those of you who have not arrived at that point yet, I ask you to look in the mirror and ask yourself this, “Am I willing to expend one more ounce of my energy, one more minute of my life suffering for something I had no control over? Can I change the past? Can I change my future?” You can’t change the past, but you can change your future, one day at a time.
You are not alone. There are people who care and are willing to share their stories and listen to yours. I am one of those people. I am accomplishing my hopes and dreams with the support of my family and friends, and you can do the same with the right tools. There is hope, you can survive child abuse and be the person you were meant to be. The power is in your hands.
Blessings & Miracles,
Communications Director
The Museum of Innocence
Child Abuse Recovery Journal
Former Feature Writer-Child Abuse and Recovery
Purchase My E-book-Child Abuse and Recovery
The Word Charmer's Poetry
Author of "Gathering Pearls,
A Treasury of Inspirational Poetry"
4.
Have you ever talked to anyone about what happened, besides on the Internet?
5.
Have you ever confronted your abuser?
6.
Was your abuser male or female, mother or father, or another relative?
Original composition by Margi Harrell ©2001
Used with permission
CLICK HERE to visit Margi's personal site and check out
more of her beautiful music available on CD's and inspirational pages
